God, it feels so great to let the world know I’m preggers! I am good at keeping serious secrets, but exciting news, especially about me has been the hardest thing to keep from everyone. I found myself telling random people who didn’t know my name and that had no connection to my world – girls who worked at the mall, the woman who checked me out at the grocery store (yes, really), waitresses at restaurants… It was like getting engaged all over again. Everyone is nice to you when you’re getting married and when you’re having a baby. Even strangers! It’s pretty awesome having people excited for you and wishing you well, sending positive thoughts and energy your way. Eventually I leaked the news to close friends and family as the weeks went on. Part of me was scared to talk about it because you think about all of the women you know or have heard about who experienced a miscarriage at all different stages and it’s really scary. But, I’m naturally an optimistic person and I know I can’t control what happens during this time… and to be honest, if god forbid something horrible were to happen, I would want the support from loved ones to help me through it.
We found out when I was just under 4 weeks. I knew before my monthly ‘not so friendly’ friend was late and before the 2 lines appeared on a stick confirming it. I woke up one day, looked in the mirror, and just knew. Aside from the bloating, I just knew. Casey thought I was crazy until I showed him the proof. The look on his face was priceless and I couldn’t have hoped for a better reaction from him. We had talked about it, so it wasn’t a complete shocker. And if you’re not not trying to get pregnant, well – then you’re trying. Casey was way more comfortable with the idea of having a child and has been for a while now. I kept pushing it back, saying it wasn’t the right time and telling myself what a game changer kids are. But for some reason, the second I had a feeling I was pregnant, I was hoping and wanting it to be true. It’s crazy how quickly I became comfortable with the idea…and fact. I am not overly spiritual – not one to publicly thank God or say how blessed I am every time something positive happens to me, but I am in such awe with this process and truly am beyond thankful to be experiencing it, and I’m certainly not taking it for granted. We created a freaking human who is growing inside of me! Crazy!! It is unbelievable learning about the week to week changes and even though I don’t look obviously pregnant, our baby has his/her vital organs, the fingers can open and close, the toes can curl, and I even saw him/her jump at my last MD appointment. I am so in love already.
I have hardly had any symptoms at all, which scared me until our first appointment at 8 weeks, when we got confirmation of our tiny gummybear looking tadpole and saw his/her flickering heart. Such an incredible sight and such an overwhelming feeling! Other than my sense of smell (which is like a freaking police trained German Shephard), and an increase in sensitivity (meaning, I actually have a heart now and get really teary eyed when watching or reading something that may be semi sentimental), I feel exactly the same as I did before. Let’s just pray the next 6 months continue to go as smoothly.
Now on to the not so fun stuff…
I’m already struggling with the little changes my body has made already, and I know it’s only going to get worse. Keep in mind, I’m 5’3” and curvy, and my stomach has always been the thinnest part about me so it is going to be interesting trying to put outfits together without looking like a complete Oompaloompa. Plus, my boobs pre-pregnancy are a 34D (sorry, I know I’m oversharing), so I have nightmares thinking about how hugeeeee they’re going to get – oye vey!! I’ve already had one very teeny tiny meltdown when I came to terms that I don’t fit in my XS Underarmour workout pants anymore as the waistband is too tight on my tummy. And when I read about how my hips are starting to widen, well, you can just imagine how thrilled I am about that. But all jokes aside, it’s all good and totally worth it, and I wouldn’t change it for the world. I plan on continuing my outfit posts and sharing with you the good, the bad, and the ugly as I figure out how to dress my ever so changing and growing figure.
Well, I think this enough for now. Stay tuned for updates on the baby boo every Wednesday. Feel free to email me if you have any questions, advice, recommendations, or just want to share your personal experience with pregnancy and motherhood. Thank you for reading!
Here are my weekly updates so far: